Listen up, Book

Every third Monday, I blog at the Deadline Dames.  Since I’ve fallen a bit behind in blogging here, I thought I’d share the post to get me back in my M-W-F blogging swing.

* note: I have a bit of a head cold and am foggy-brained. This entry is all in fun.

Dear Book I am Currently Writing,

You suck.

I am smack dab in the middle of hassling out a first draft of you, and have pretty much hit that point where I wonder if this mess of words will actually pull together into something readable.

Yes, it’s been said before, but I’ll give it one more say: no two novels write alike.  Which means, at least for me, that every novel I’ve written comes with a new batch of problems which I feel wholly inadequate to solve.

But you?  You are a heartless little monster filled with monsterly glee.

Why must you insist on veering off the outline, off the genre, off the plot, off the tone, pacing, and blooming everything constantly?  Do you harbor a grudge against me in your evil little bookish  heart?   Why must you make me feel as if I am new at this, uncertain, writing by the seat of my pants, skin of my teeth, all fingers and thumbs akimbo?  This is not my preferred (or practiced) mode of operation.

I am beginning to think you know that.

While I applaud your dedication to making my every day at the keyboard “interesting” as in Fire Swamps, Rodent of Unusual Size, and Pits of Despair “interesting,” I do not appreciate having to delete an equal amount of words as I have kept each and every day.

You are screwing with my word count, my deadline, and my sanity.

So now.  I give you this warning.  It has come down to a battle of wills, book, and I am on to you.  I shall no longer trot down rabbit holes only to discover I have been painted into a corner.  I shall no longer write a thousand words, kill a thousand words, and go softly into the night wanting to stab things.

I am going to write you, fix you, and make you amazing no matter how difficult you are, no matter what you put me through, no matter how long it takes. Because you are an incredibly fun idea, story, cast of characters, and world. You deserve to be told.

So buckle up, bookiebuddy. I’m not going to stop until you become the incredible novel I know you can be.